Next time someone tells you to eat more veggies, get down on these tiny motherfuckers. These low fat, high fiber sons of bitches are healthy as shit without sacrificing flavor. Trying to eat better? START WITH A FUCKING BURGER.
SMOKEY BEAN AND SPINACH SLIDERS
2 cups chopped fresh spinach
1 cup chopped onion
3 cups cooked kidney beans or 2-15 ounce can
1/2 cup cooked brown rice (use leftovers)
4 cloves of garlic, chopped all small and shit
1 tablespoon liquid smoke (like I said, it is near the BBQ sauce at the store I swear. You haven’t even looked yet so stop complaining. It is there)
2 teaspoon soy sauce or tamari
1 tablespoon smoked paprika
2 teaspoons oregano
1 ½ teaspoons ground cumin
black pepper to taste
1/2 cup whole wheat breadcrumbs (any breadcrumbs you have are fine. Got nothing? Just toast up some bread until it is almost burnt looking and real dry then grate them shits or put them in a food processor to get some tiny fucking crumbs. They help soak up all the liquid so don’t leave this shit out)
Warm the oven to 375 degrees and lightly grease a large baking sheet. You can throw down some foil and then grease it if you are a lazy fuck like me and hate doing dishes.
Add the spinach and onion to a food processor and pulse until they are in tiny-ass pieces. Add the kidney beans, rice, garlic, liquid smoke, soy sauce, and seasonings and pulse until everything is all mixed up. It’s fine if a few larger pieces of the beans hang around but you want this looking like kinda paste-like. Place the bean-spinach mixture into a medium bowl and add in the fucking breadcrumbs. This should be slightly sticky and hold nicely when you form it into a ball. If it is too wet, add more breadcrumbs. Taste it and add more spices and whatever until it tastes good to you. Can’t do that shit with ground beef.
No food processor? It’s all good. Just cut up the spinach and the onion extra tiny and add everything but breadcrumbs to a big bowl. Now pound on that shit until it looks like chunky mash potatoes. Then add the breadcrumbs and do all the other shit I say above.
Divide the mixture into 16 patties if you are making sliders or 8 patties if you are making regular burgers. Whateverthefuck you want to do. Place them on the baking sheet, spray them lightly with oil (slow your roll, I said LIGHTLY) and bake for 15 minutes or until the bottom is a crispy golden brown. Flip the patties and bake for 15 or until both sides look awesome. If you are doing full size burgers you might need to let the sides go 5 extra minutes. Let them cool for a few minutes before serving. Pile them high with red onion, avocado, whatever additional deliciousness you’ve got and chow the fuck down.
Makes 16 sliders or 8 regular patties
making these now <3
Don’t give me that “I don’t eat breakfast” bullshit. It’s too early to be an asshole. The fiber in the oatmeal helps control your blood sugar and keeps you feeling full until lunch. The quinoa gives your morning a little extra protein because why the fuck not? Start your day right by owning the shit out of it. CARPE FUCKING DIEM.
1 cup steel cut oats (they aren’t all mushy like regular oatmeal)
½ cup quinoa (I used scarlet quinoa but you grab whatever you can find)
1 teaspoon olive or coconut oil
4 cups water
½ cup almond milk (or whatthefuckever milk you prefer)
Heat up the water in a kettle on the stovetop or in the microwave until it is near boiling. Put the quinoa in a strainer and rinse that shit so it isn’t bitter after you cook it. Heat the oil in a saucepan over medium heat and add the steel cut oats. Stir them around and cook until they smell kinda toasty, like 1-2 minutes. Add the quinoa and the water and bring it all to a boil (this won’t take long because the water should already be hot as fuck). Turn down the heat on the pot and let it simmer. Go check your tumblr or Facebook shit while it cooks for about 20 minutes. It should taste done now, not hard but still a little chewy. Add the milk and turn off the heat. Serve with fresh fruit, nuts, maple syrup, brown sugar, whateverthefuck will get you through your day.
Serves 4 (love to hit snooze? double the recipe and heat up the leftovers all week)
ya so im making this
You don’t need a party to get down on some guacamole. Put it on a salad, taco, tostada, sandwich, whatever you want. Eat it with your hands. I don’t give a flying fuck. SNACK LIFE.
5 ripe avocados
2 medium grapefruits or 1 big son of a bitch
¼ cup chopped cilantro
¼ cup chopped red onion
juice of 1 lime (about 2 tablespoons)
¼ teaspoon salt
Take the pit out of the avocados and scoop out all the green flesh into a large bowl. Mash it up with fork. I like my guacamole chunky but do what you gotta do. Cut the grapefruit up into segments like you would cut an orange. Remove the peel and cut the segments into pieces about the size of a nickel. Put all the grapefruit into the bowl with the avocado. Add the cilantro, red onion, lime juice, and salt and mix it all up. Taste it and add more shit until you like it. Serve immediately or chill it for a bit. I’m not gonna tell you how to eat guacamole, just follow your fucking heart.
wtf must make
I thought I was a Longsword kind of guy but then I tried a switchaxe for funsies and I’m not looking back. I’m on a quest to find a switchaxe of all types so I never have to substitute.
i dig the SA. had been taking a break using the bow, but i think i want to return to the SA, by far my favorite weapon (except underwater xD)
bootydemon asked: hey! what's your HR rank? By the monsters you're posting I think we might be close to eachothers, and I've been looking for people to hunt with
HR2 :3 at the urgent quest but haven’t finished, just finished up my HR jaggi set offline (NNID: SashPrime)